Sunday, October 19, 2008


There's a point of life where you wonders what's life is all about. Why are you here? What are you made for?

You believe that God have purpose for the existence of each on each one of His creation. But what's your purpose?

There's a point of life where you wonders what's the direction of life you should go. Where to go? what is there for you? what is there for you to expect?

You know that God have plans for you. Each one of it is for your good and so that you have a future. You believe that God have the best for you. But where to go? Is this where He wants me to be?

The harder you prayer, the more it seems the answers fading away. The more as if your heart crying out loud.Tell me, please tell me...

I am not saying that God doesnt answers prayer. He does. Sometime we are just so impatience to wait for His answer.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I guess human, in general term means its include everyone, wants to haf a place where they belong. A place where they feel comfortable and wanted. A place where they felt rested. A place where they have security and felt safe. A place where we can home.

Place..I like the word 'ruangan' in BM. It tells it all. That comfortable place where the sense of security and belonged are, apply in every area of life that we are in. In work place, in social life, in church, in a relationship..notice that we like to find and seek for comfort and security? Jadi ruangan dalam konteks ini merujuk bukan hanya dalam ruangan fizikal semata-mata. Ruangan boleh merujuk kepada ruang di dalam hati dan perasaan seseorang itu juga. Doesnt the phrase "ruangan hati" rings a bell? Walau dalam perkongsian perasaan dan masalah, kita lebih terbuka sekiranya seseorang itu mendapat "ruang" kepercayaan di dalam kehidupan kita. Semestinya kita tidak akan berkongsi perkara yang peribadi kepada orang yg kita tidak selesa bukan?

Haha..don't get me wrong please. I am not saying it wrong. It is in fact a part of our nature. Who like to be in a situation or a place that they will not comfortable. Yes, I know different person would define comfort in different manner. Whatever the definition maybe, I dont particularly care, as long as the in that situation/place, you are comfortable. Definition-wise, it is settled--->depends on individuals. ahahha.. Back to the point now..

Frankly, I miss U-Heights very much. I am comfortable staying there due a lot of factor, ie the place and people that staying in there. It has become my comfort zone. I miss EPCC. I just love the people, the CG, the worship, the ministry I served in and the lesson I learnt. I miss the companions I have in Penang. I miss the comfort and the freedom I have with them. I miss the people who I can be me when I am around them. I miss these so much that I am refusing to changed the lifestyle I used to have. This is the danger of being in comfort.

After going back to my hometown and coming back to Penang, I have realized I have to change and find another comfort zone. Haha, my journey starts again. I need to start moving on into another level of life. To grow and to become a better person, inside out. This is life, it harsh sometime, even when you refuse to move on, life showed that it will move on. It doesnt matter or cared if you refuse or does not comfortable. It is not only about you, life is about those around you also, the people and the situations.

Know that by now, life is not static. It is like a current, the river flows. Sometime it is drastic flow, fast current. At certain point, the river starts to flows slowly in a steady and calm manner. That is before the water reaches another rapid. Life is like that. It is never still and always flowing. It is not like a dam, where the water stuck in a large containment. But even so, who can guarantee the current is still? Doesnt it occurred to mind, the pressure is high? We are the steward on the ship in the river of life. Dont feel too comfortable when you are in calm and steady current. Be ever ready for the rapid that is ahead so that when you reached the rapid, you will not in shock and your ship crashed.

The same goes now in our life. Don't feel too comfortable till you reject and refuse changes. On earth, there are no one perfect comfortable place. There is only one place where there are comfort that stays on forever. I am looking forward to it, the place where He is.

Friday, April 11, 2008


Today supposed to be a relieved one...Finished my viva n yet when i got home, I found something that angered me..How could she do that? I totally cannot accept, not even in the slightest view of it..yes, i know that being angry and totally being controlled by it is ermm totally disturbing, totally uncool, totally unsoothing..but this time i cant helped it..i can tolerate with many thing, but this, I am sorry, I couldnt..I really couldnt..the thing is i told u d, if u only bought him in, mayb i am not tat angry, but u locked the door??? wat the heck? how am i supposed to trust u? yes, it is none of my business, it is ur life, is tis what u wan? just say it that i take it too seriously, yes, i do not have the right to be angry with you, then let it be then..i wont care..i wont care...